hats

as the majority of the bloggers on this blog are not from the south i will give some background to the hat rule. in the south (i dont know how things go elsewhere, colorado for example) it is customary to remove one's hat durring prayer, among other things. the list includes the bowing of heads, closing of eyes, removing of said hats, etc. and it is customary to remind everyone to do these things before entering the prayer portion of time. i have always found it to be a bit....a lot of rules. rules annoy me. especially when they get in the way of me being with god. today at staff devos we prayed. not unusual. but i woke up late this morning. i didnt shower, so i wore a hat. autin did too (it made me feel less uncomfortable to see that i wasnt the only one...the south has planted a fear of wearing hats in doors deep in my bones). anyway, we prayed and i started to feel self conscious about the hat because of the rules i hate. perhaps let me back up and say that i think the hat rule is ridiculous. god doesnt ask that i remove my hat. he enjoys it when i come respectfully to him, but for my generation removing a hat is no more a sign of respect than eating a popsicle. he is excited not by the outward but by the inward. if i'm going to make an outward sign of reverence it wont be taking off a hat it'll be something like lying facedown on the ground in awe and wonder...i dont really want to do it halfway. having said that, we began to pray. i looked around the room expecting the usual glances that say "please remove the hat or god wont listen to you...or the rest of us because we're in your heathen presence". but i didnt get any. this is one of the strongest moments of not being judged i have ever felt. probably because i was really expecting it from somewhere but it came from no one. i love the way that the staff really responds christlikely a lot. i know that i've worn the hat in other circles out of spite of its removals lack of importance to me. and i was probably in the wrong there...but as i just happened to be wearing it today and no one reminded me to take it off, i left it on. and i just want to say thank you. i love you all for not saying, "the only way to speak to god is by bowing a head, closing some eyes, removing all head coverings, and clasping your hands together." in fact you said to me, in a really refreshing way, "come to god however you are" period. so thanks...even those of you that werent there today....because you have more important thing in your life than god...or you were in a car wreck.

Possibly irrelevant

Just because I love you guys, I thought I’d share some of Master Colbert’s wisdom from “The Word.” (Watch it.)

Regarding, President Bush’s record-low approval rating of 37%:  This week marked the 70th anniversary of Hitler’s regime usurping control of the German government.  That week, his approval rating was 99% (“1% thought he was a great painter.”)  Assuming there is no one worse than Hitler, what does all of this mean?  Bush is the Unfuhrer; the anti-Hitler…thereby proving us “not Nazis.”  And that, my friends, is good news.      

Home

it has been some time since this blog was created. in the time since i have read everything that has been said but watched my own name sit idly amongst the contributor list, waiting in anticipation to see what insight or thought might ever come from it. well i've finally got something...so here goes.

have you ever been overwhelmed with life? so much so that you just cant handle it anymore? not in the "i'm going to end it" sense but in the "i cant wait to be Home" sense. one of my friends approached me with this feeling sometime last year saying that when she was in the world it made her want to cry and that she couldn't wait to be Home. i had never been to that point until sometime this year but i got there again last night. fortunately due to the wonders of IM i was able to talk with her and reminisce on the old conversation.

here's the feeling in a nutshell if it seems a little fuzzy...
we were so overwhelmed by how much we dont get it. we humans are selfish, self-centered, failing creatures...we dont know how to love or live or do much of anything right. sometimes you find yourself in a place that makes you acutely aware of this fact. maybe you are observing people pursuing all the wrong things and looking right past the hurt or struggles of those around them because they've convinced themselves its just not their problem...maybe its something else. and you begin to wonder why you even have hope of us ever getting it right. we always mess it up. we always get it wrong. hope starts to drain and then the picture hits you. you remember that at some point we will. there is a hope. it may not be in this life but its there. there is a place where we will all love each other. we will know how to and we will...and we will do it well. its Home. it will be amazing...i want to be there. i want to see it and i cant quite imagine it but i love it and i long for it. i almost miss it even though i dont think i've ever been.