When to be weak

Last Monday night, I found myself excited about our new decision and new adventure that will begin sometime this summer. Hamilton, Massachusetts seems so far away and very different from North Carolina. In fact, apart from Holly's first few months out of the womb, we've never lived outside of this state. Normally that wouldn't seem that crazy. But since we've met so many of you, we've realized how small our world has been.

Lying in bed that night, I could tell Holly was quiet than normal. She'd been on the phone the whole night telling her family our news. I don't think they were very encouraging. We spent the next hour talking through her fears, her doubts, the list of to-dos. In a moment of complete strength, I let her know I was not afraid. God had led us here to this moment. We can trust him.

Six days later, we arrived home from church and it was my turn. I let my guard down and I was attacked with overwhelming thoughts of worthlessness and doubt. I was quiet all day and only admitted I was in a "funk". Later that night, she cornered me and reminded me of all the things I said to her. She said all of this without calling me a "hypocrite". I felt like I was. She comforted me with her strength...a strength from somewhere else.

The point is, we were both weak. We still are. But I know how wonderful it feels to know where you're going and you won't be abandoned. I know that there's no point in "faith" if you don't use it. But sometimes, you just have to be in that dark place for a moment, so that he can come down there with you, sit for a while, then get you out.

"May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones." 1 Thess 3:13