Holy, Sovereign Lord? or BFF?

While we were at the Passion Conference, Matt Redman played a song that has a line that says, "Thank you for the cross, my friend." After we sang it, someone told me that they didn't like that song because it she thought it was weird to call Jesus "my friend." She said, "He not my friend, he's my God who died on a cross for me." This week at church, Mike made a comment about how we sometimes take the idea of Jesus being our buddy beyond the bounds of the bible. That comment made me think about the conversation about Matt Redman's song, but it also made me think of a conversation I had in college with one of my roommates who is not a Christian: She'd come to church with us for some special occasions, but she told me that she didn't like the church we went to, because they always talked about Jesus like he's one of your buddies, like "he's hanging out, sitting in the back seat of a car smoking pot with you." (that's a direct quote.)

My instinct is to say, "No, Jesus is my friend!" He is a "friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Prov. 18:24). I think about how Abraham was called God's friend (James 2:23), and about how many times Jesus called people friend (Luke 5:20, John 15:14) in the New Testament.

Now I say this knowing full well that I struggle with coming to God with the awe and reverence that he requires and deserves. The revered Jesus is always secondary to the Jesus that goes with me everywhere I go. I'm guessing that growing up in church, I learned more about Jesus as my friend than about any other aspect of him. So I guess my question is, which is it? Holy Lord and Savior of the World or close, intimate friend? I believe he is both, but can either one be taken too far, to the point where we (we= me, you, the Church, whoever) are missing a big part of who God is? Are we pushing too much of one and not enough of the other? And how do we come to a God that we are to have an intimate relationship with, yet also come with fear and reverence? Is it weird to thank Jesus for the cross and in the same breath call him friend?

Like I said, I struggle with leaning more toward the friend side, but I know there is a balance somewhere in there, I just haven't really thought much about it until recently. I'd love to hear what you guys think.

Your thoughts?

So after you read my first posting, tell me this much...how do I reconcile these beliefs with Colossians 3:15, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as member of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful" or Matthew 12:25-26 "Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then can his kingdom stand?"

F*** you I won't do what you tell me

*Some explicit content...but I couldn't think of more extreme language to explain!!!

I'm taking the tape off my mouth. When I moved here I sat back to observe the culture and I've been exposed to a whole new world of understanding in regards to conservatives. But I am no longer going to sit back and let them speak for me. Yesterday on CNN, Paul Begala, a liberal analyst for "The Situation Room" was on "American Morning" and he made an outrageous statement. He said, "I am sick and tired of being a Christian and letting these conservatives speak for me. Why is it that the only Christians saying anything are condeming gays and fighting abortion."

Well I had to put some music on to write this, so I stretched back to the mid-90's and put on "Killing in the name of" by Rage Against the Machine. Here's a taste

"You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites. Some of those that work forces are the same that bore crosses"

The song ends with Zach de al Roche repeating..."you're under control, now you do what they told ya...f*** you I won't do what you tell me!" Guess what, I'm saying the same thing, I can't decide but part of me wants to keep the explative in when I say it?!?

Anger can be a beast that eats us from the inside out, so I won't go further without explaining my heart. I feel like this anger comes from a fury inside for righteousness on behalf of the Lord who saved me and the love I have for so many people I know who cannot believe in Jesus because his name is used to justify KILLING! The only example I can give to compare this to is Jesus in the temple. I want to go to George Bush's office and flip over his desk and tell him..."I won't do what you tell me, you call this a house of prayer, but you make it a den of robbers." (see Matthew 21:12)

I've found it easy to laugh at Pat Robertson, but I refuse to laugh any longer. Russ said something interesting to me yesterday, he said, "Pat Robertson is doing for Christianity what Osama Bin Laden is doing for Islam" I thought it was extreme, but then I thought about it, and while he may not be maliciously violent like Bin Laden, he is maliciously exclusive of this world by his words and so are the conservative Christians across this country who take their values and apply as the priorities of Jesus. Russ' expalanation behind his "polygamy theory" is that we take our culture standards and opinions and read scripture from that lense...which is backwards.

Conservatives all over this country are polluting cause of Christ. Its not a few crazies, its an epidemic. All they did was slap a "pro-life" sticker on their foreheads and then they get a free pass to ignore the futures of our children, alienating our allies, favoring the wealthy, creating a society that says "you get what you WORK for" (screw welfare, its simple...get a job) Yeah, people take advantage of social programs, but people take advantage of grace, God didn't stop providing our sorry butts with it though.

I refuse to let Tom Delay publically say he knows God will carry him through this time of persecution, I refuse to let George Bush and Dick Cheney say that torture and spying are necessary. I'm realizing Pat Robertson and George Bush aren't the problem, I am. I've let myself be un-offensive. Jesus didn't walk into the temple and ask them politely if they might be able to sell things elsewhere. He fought back...so I'm gonna start fighting back.

So in the words of Stephen Colbert "Conservatives...you're on notice" because Austin Pfeiffer is coming after you. When I read Matthew, I hear don't divorce, take care of the little ones, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, love my Father and love one another. I'm not letting there distorted lenses read the Bible and speak for my faith anymore. Jesus NEVER addresses homosexuality, Jesus NEVER tells us Democracy is a worthy cause for war, as far as I can tell his priorities were WAY different and I live to die for those. So "f*** you I won't do what you tell me." (not you guys, I mean the collective "you guys" of the conservatives with a microphone"

Open wide your mouth!

I have no doubt that my marriage is one of the loudest ways, my Father speaks to me. After lunch today, Holly was silent. She wasn't mad. But she was disappointed. She saw (and heard) her husband, her leader, behave poorly in the eyes of some who might think highly of him.

I've been spending the past half-hour asking God to break my heart and mind and now I ask you to forgive me as well. (Sorry Joe if this is a little ambiguous.) The short of it is that I know that God was not pleased with the words, tone, and sarcasm that came from my mouth. Kevin was right -- we should be looking for ways to encourage not destroy. His rebuke to us should not be taken lightly.

Ironically, the verse for the week of Passion, was "I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." (Psalm 81:10)

And so now my prayer is"Please fill my mouth, God, with words of praise, encouragement, and light."

I'm not torturing myself over this. I know I am forgiven. But sometimes I look at my life and realize I don't live like it. (compliments to Beth M.) My friends, we are better than this...right? I invite comments and posts to this...as I believe we've stepped away from mutual edification (albeit just for lunch). Let us come back to the well and find Jesus reminding us that true worship may not look like the picture in our minds.

I'm going there now.

Jesus, Take the Wheel

This post is about 4 weeks overdue....

Carrie Underwood, the most recent American Idol, recently released a single called, "Jesus, Take the Wheel." The same week (about 4 weeks ago!) that I woke up to this song playing on the radio was the same week that our small group (GGG) read a chapter in the book we're studying called "Control: Releasing Our Sticky Fingers," which also happened to be the same week that I reached the height of confusion/frustration/annoyance with figuring out what's next for me....interesting.

Marissa can vouch for the fact that the chapter was a pretty stinkin' awesome/challenging because, let's be honest, when you're fingers are as sticky as ours, grasping the concept is hard enough, let alone actually doing it. But the author must have crawled into my head and wrote down exactly what I needed, because I couldn't believe how much I needed to read this chapter. Before this, I would have sworn to anyone who asked that I'm great at trusting God and giving him control. But, alas, that was a lie. My fingers are covered with sticky stuff...

So where does that leave me? Prying my own fingers off the wheel for the past 4 weeks. Somedays it's not too bad. Others I feel like the skin on my palms is ripping off. But overall, I've finally come to the realization that I have to trust God with my eternal search for "what's next" in my life, and pretty much my life in general. I don't really have any other options. When my sticky fingers are all over the wheel, I get over-confident, run off the road, explode the front tire, damage the wheel, and scrape the front bumper of the rental truck my parents had for only about 2 hours (yeah, that actually happened last week, but doesn't it make a great metaphor?), or I sit with the car in the driveway convinced that I'm giving God control of my life when I'm actually white-knuckling an idle vehicle. Given the fact that neither wrecking a rental car nor sitting in a still car, gets you anywhere, my only option is letting Jesus take the wheel. When he's driving, I have hope, peace, contentment, and unlike car insurance, I've got a zero-deductible, zero-payment plan.

So, it looks like Carrie is on to something with this song. Who knew I could be so blessed by something from American Idol? Well, I have. And I've made it my prayer as I continue to figure out what will come of my life. It really helps on the days that I find myself reapplying glue to my hands...

Jesus take the wheel.
Take it from my hands, cause I can't do this all on my own.
I'm letting go.
So give me one more chance to save me from this road I'm on.
Jesus take the wheel.

P.S. Please call me out if you find a glue-stick in my purse.